Lately I feel like a reality show contestant at their dark moment. There are things I've done a million times that just don't seem easy anymore, like I'm rusty at living life. I'm one of those self-assured contestants so certain that they knew what they were getting into, but now is having a meltdown. I'm just sitting here waiting for the return from commercial break to see how everything works itself out.
The other day I spoke to happy-go-lucky girl who saw the world as filled with endless possibility. She's only been in LA for two months, but she loves it so much she's thinking of not going back to school to finish her final year and just staying in LA instead.
I don't want to be cynical about stuff like that. It's really easy to be cynical. It's easy to say - you like it cause it's new and you're young and just wait till things get hard. But I don't want to do that. Instead, I want to be like a vampire and suck that enthusiasm right out of her. I need it so badly right now.